Cut into, tumor removed
Virus a hold of her body
Constant beeps, ticks and noises
Tubes here, tubes there, tubes everywhere
There lies the woman I once knew
Peacefully asleep
Bandaged, bruised and bleeding
I await for the day when she awakes
Where is the switch
That will bring my frankenmom back to life
A lighting bolt is all it will take
But all I keep hearing are those beeps going beep beep beep…
Afib, bp, and oxygenation
Have all become common terms
Fevers become the constant norm
Doctors speak, as I nod and stare blankly in return
I hear what they are saying
But can’t comprehend a single word
Constantly riding a roller coaster
Where you just wait for the bottom to fall out
Wandering the hallways, they all look the same
Feeling out of your mind
Floating in midair
When they cut out the cancer,
They cut out my heart
Trapped in a hospital room
Watching in fear
Surrounded by strangers
Who toss my mom around
Like she is a ragdoll
Poking and prodding my frankenmom
Like she is a guinea pig
During which my frankenmom can’t say a word
She can’t yell or scream, or tell them to stop
and neither can I…
Frozen I watch her body wither
Frail and weakened by time
While a machine pumps her full of air
Like she’s a hot air balloon
How I wish we both could just float away
To a place where there were no beeps, sickness or pain
But there we both lie paralyzed
They tell me there is no hope
That she will surely die
All I can see is the woman I love
Not the body that lays battered and torn
Filled full of tubes and IV’s
Covered in bed sores
This can’t be my Mother
A woman once so full vibrant and full of life
Then who is this shell of a woman?
Her hair matted down
No longer the way she loved her hair styled
Her skin pale and puffy
With her fingernails bare
A tube down her throat
Her eyes in a blank stare
I lay at her bedside
Holding her cold hands
Instantly transformed into her little boy again
So scared and looking for comfort
I look in her eyes
and there is my Mother
Finally I am able to look past all the tubes, doctors and machines
If only I was Superman
But alas I don’t have the power to save her
My frankenmom’s body is tired and ready to rest
No amount of lightning will be able to bring her back to life
Paralyzed by sorrow
Deep in shock
They tell me she’s dying
Slowly her heart stops to beat
As her organs give out
While her tubes are removed
And the machines are turned off
Her body lays still
Her lungs don’t make a sound
Silence is in the air
As a downpour of tears falls upon her body
I hold onto the shell of my Mother
With all dear might
I pray this is all just some horrible nightmare
That I will surely awake
But my eyes are wide open
And this is my new reality…
A hole in my heart
Spirit has cracked
Shaken and battered
Falling apart
I still hear the beep, beep, beep
Pick up the pieces
Sew them back together
One stitch at a time
Now I am the frankenson
Awaiting for my bolt of lightning
That will bring me back to life…