The Fear is Real

If you’re on facebook or any other social media the days after Trump won (not fairly) the election you saw your fears come to life. If you were half of America (or at least those who voted for Hillary) you knew what was at stake. That’s why so many of us were shocked because we couldn’t believe in a world where such a hateful person could become President. So when Trump kept winning states you saw your fear grow. For me, it grew to the point where I was in the middle of a massive panic attack… full meltdown mode.

Having lived in a world full of hate growing up I knew what was at stake and what it would mean if Trump was elected. I had first hand knowledge what that kind of hate does to your soul. It rips you apart like a forest fire. That kind of hate leaves nothing behind but a blackened skeleton. That’s what many of us are fearing from a Trump Presidency.

The day after the election it was very clear that our fears were justified as the news of people already being at the end of hate from the supporters of Trump. From swastikas spray painted on buildings in NYC to actual physical altercations with Trump supporters. On Wednesday,  a female student at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette was beaten, robbed and had her hijab ripped off by two men. Trump winning has given his supporters validation that their racist, discriminatory beliefs are just and apart of making America great again.

It’s only four days and we have enough examples of hate in action to fill up a book. Gay people are being harassed more. Anyone who might look hispanic is told to go back to Mexico. Disabled people are being called the R word. Muslims are being targeted, so are African-Americans. Anyone who doesn’t look like a Trump supporter is a target. Trump winning gave them an excuse to remind everyone that they’re going to make America great by going back to a time where black people were segregated, women belonged in a kitchen and gay people were forced to stay in the closet. How far back do they want to go? Back before women could vote or to the days of slavery.

We live in a time that’s more progressive but this election is proof that there are millions of people stuck in the 50s. They feel they’ve been left behind when in reality the one one to blame for being stuck is themselves. Change is a part of life and if you don’t move with it you’ll get left behind. Those who want to make America great again have felt out of control seeing all the changes that they don’t approve of, that go against their God/religion. Marriage equality was the last straw for these people. So of course the only choice was to vote for the man who’d save them. They’ll quickly learn that Trump was never on their side, he just used them. What will they do when they find out that he’s not going to build a wall or doesn’t reverse marriage equality?

It goes much deeper than fearing for our safety and lives because a Trump presidency will make our lives much harder. We might be safe for now but the laws that Trump passes will make many people miserable including his supporters. I know a lot of people are saying that not everyone who voted for Trump are bad and that’s probably true but the fact remains that millions of people voted for Trump in spite of all the bad things he’s said and done. They were so willing to look past all the bad and what it would mean to minorities in order to not change their world. When in reality Trump isn’t the savior they’re looking for. Trump is like the dragon version of Republicans. He was loud and fiery but he wasn’t much different than most Republican politicians. Trump was created by the Republicans he’s the effect.

Trumps followers were led by fear like the pied piper. I know what it’s like to be led by fear. I grew up in a Southern Baptist family which was all fire and brimstone. Being gay was an abomination. During my teenage years I had this reoccurring nightmare of the end of the world and my name would never get called to go to heaven. This is what fear based teachings do, they brainwash you into believing whatever is told to you. So if you grow up in that world it’s hard to overcome it especially if you’re one of the black sheeps.

Fears are based on falsehoods. The longer you hold the fear, the larger it grows until you become the monster. My family is full of them. They have this way of thinking where the path to heaven is only for the few and if you don’t live life the right way you will burn in flames forever. Talk about being scared out of your mind as a child. The bigger the fear the person has the more they try to convince everyone else that they’re right. My father is a prime example. Growing up he would use to corner people trying to preach the word of God to them. It didn’t matter what the function was he’d go out of his way to save someone. At my cousin’s funeral he preached at my sister’s best friend. Yet if you looked inward to his own life you’d see that he wasn’t living by example.

Still to this day he’s the same way. He’s the typical Trump supporter. His facebook wall is full of hate. I recently had thought of giving him another chance. He even apologized to me a few years ago about how he approached Jesus with me. I was foolish to think he had changed. Seeing how he went on about Trump just reminded me why I stayed away from him. He’s toxic and it only means pain for me. He’s just one of many in my family. The election this year has been extremely triggering for me because the people Trump spoke to was my family. Family is suppose to protect you and lift you up, not vote against your rights and safety.

The greatest satisfaction has been knowing that I was able to get away from that hateful world. I have worked hard the past twenty years to get away from it and it hasn’t been easy. During my darkest days I had to remind myself that I had gotten away from that bad place. So to have it come crashing back around me when Trump won the electoral votes just devastated me. It felt like the ultimate defeat that hate won. The world became very scary knowing that millions of voters didn’t care if I had my rights and safety taken away. It’s bad enough when strangers do that to you but when it’s your own family it’s especially devastating. So not only did I grow up in a family full of hate I now had it validated by Trump’s supporters.

As scared as I am and stunned that I live in a world where he could be our President I can’t let that get in the way of my fight. The difference between now and then is that now I have this inner strength that I didn’t realize I had. I’ve had so much taken away that I’m willing to give anything else away anymore. I have this fire in me and I will fight anyone who tries to take away my rights and the others around me.

So bring it on Trump and his army of hate. I’m ready and so are the rest of us. If you think you’ll have it easy you will learn very quickly that you shouldn’t have messed with us. If we don’t fight for what’s right they will really win and we just can’t let that happen. America is already great because of the diverse population.

Just because when they go low, we go high it doesn’t mean that we won’t fight for our rights. So my brothers and sisters the time is now to prepare for January. Keep on letting your voice be heard. I know so many are wondering how they can help. One way you can help is by attaching yourself with the organizations that will come at risk during a Trump presidency like the ACLU, Sierra Club, NAACP, etc. by volunteering and donating to them. They’re going to need all the help they can get.

We need to keep up the protesting. My hope is that they will grow and take over more cities. We need to send a clear message to the world and the haters. A lot of people are scared including the rest of the world. Trump will be bad for everyone but the rich. If there isn’t a protest in your city/town form one. All it takes is a group of people gathering in public. We can’t give up now. The fight has just began. It’s going to be a long four years.

There are protests being held all over the country including overseas. A lot of them are organic and just happen at the spur of the moment. I’ve created a website to help mobilize the movement. To find protests visit:

If you know of a protest that’s not listed please let me know and I will add them. Hang in there everyone. Love will always prevail. While we might have lost the battle we will win the war. We have love and light on our side. Don’t ever forget that!



Yes WE Can!!!

This has been a very tough year for me. I have been shaken to my core. I have questioned everything about not just myself but the world around me, even God and the universe.

Tonight I must admit that I was more nervous that I wanted to be about Obama winning the election. With the year I had, I don’t know if I could take anymore bad news. My fears tried to take over but I quietly checked them at bay. I was reminded once again the importance of faith. I knew that I not only had to have faith that Obama would win but that everything would work out. It  just like want President Obama said in his acceptance speech about hope. I don’t know the exact quote but it was something about being in a dark place and holding onto hope that something good was beyond the horizon. That is what hope is. Believing in the unbelievable, that is hope.

So just like my Mama, I believed in our President. I believed that enough people would vote with their hearts. I believed that love would conquer hate. Sure I was scared but I not only faced that fear but I stood strongly and pushed through. I knew what it would mean for my community to have Mitt Romney as President and I couldn’t see anything good coming from that. For me that is why it was so important to vote and encourage others to do so.

I wanted to do more. I really did. But I have to realize that even if I touched one person’s life that I have made a difference. That is what it all boils down to.

Watching the elections results was tortuous at times. Even when lost a battle, I still kept moving forward. As the night endured, I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can remember this tingling sensation that came over me when I heard that Obama was re-elected. Though no one was with me when I watched the results, I was not alone. The triumph of love was overflowing.

As happy as I was with the results I have to admit it felt a little bitter sweet to realize how divided our country is. Honestly I am troubled with how many people could vote for Romney. I mean look at the candidate in Indiana who has crazy views on legitimate rape… Over 700k people voted for him.

I also saw with the success of Obama, all the hatred come out in regards to his success. One of my facebook friends, a fellow classmate, posted that our country was doomed. Through a  facebook conversation with him and all his friend, I found out that he believed in the whole being gay is a sin… My initial response was to argue with their idiocracies. I was quickly transported to so many other people who so feverishly tried to make me feel less for being gay. Thankfully I quickly realized that I was only fueling their flames and it was time to get out of dodge, as I had no place there.

I have come to realize that there are some people in this world who will just never get it and it isn’t my place to help them find it. I have a message and I need to bring it to people who not only need it, want it.

I have also come to learn that not everyone embraces love and the universal truths. When you stand strong and let your love shine, it causes those who live in the darkness (fear) to panic. The light is very blinding to those who stay in the dark. So they will do whatever it takes to extinguish that light. Their fears have turned into truths and realities, and now they have to convince the world in order to believe it as well. It is also how they get control of the storm within them by turning it outward onto the world. They project their hatred in the name of God.

They don’t realize the damage they do to themselves, nor do they realize the damage they do to others. It becomes especially dangerous when it comes to passing laws in regards to religious beliefs. Each act of hatred just chips away at the collective self esteem of the gay community. I have never understood why some people try to limit God’s love to a very narrowed audience???

These people who are fanatic in their religious views just don’t get it… I have learned you have to just move on. Drive through as a friend once told me. It is so easy to get caught up in their commotion. I started to do that tonight as well.

The more progress we see, the more these fanatics will come out of the woodworks. Progress and change causes great risk to their security. Their majority starts to shrink until they become the minority. Whether they want to admit it or not, views on Marriage Equality are changing. People are seeing equality more than just gay rights, a basic civil right.

Which reminded me of something that I brought up in this debate earlier tonight. Wasn’t Jesus osterized, tortured and murdered because of who he loved and what he believed in… So in reality those who persecute gay people are no better than those who persecuted Jesus. They are one in the same and they don’t even realize it.

That is why it is so important for those who do get it, stand up and let their voices be heard.

I think about where the LGBT community was in 2008 when Prop 8 was passed and how devastating that was to our community. Who would have thought four years later we would see the first President to come out in support of Marriage Equality get re-elected with that as a platform? Not to mention the four states that passed some sort of Marriage Equality proposal. Plus if all of that wasn’t enough of TKO sign of change, seeing Tammy Baldwin get elected as the first openly gay senator is.

Sure we have a long ways to go, and the fight isn’t over but tonight we have a lot to celebrate and be proud of. Our work is never done because there will always be those who oppose us.

I also realize there is this fine balance of those who oppose us and those who just don’t have all the information. These are the people who are open minded to our cause. Also at what point do you decide to rock the boat or just go along for the ride? How do you get to those people who are overtly homophobic but haven’t quite seen our perspective?

Take for example straight people who voted for Romney. I understand that not everyone has all the information. So many people still see equality as a belief system and not a civil right… How do you open their minds to see the importance for equality? Take it past a belief system and show them how these injustices affect our lives on a daily basis.

My first thought is just to delete everyone on facebook who voted for Romney but I also realize that in some cases I might be missing out on a chance to create change. Then what about the people who I know outside of facebook? My first gut reaction is just to push everyone away but I am trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. Which was what I was trying to do with the fellow classmate, in which I quickly learned wasn’t possible. Now there are some people who just won’t get it, but there are some who are decent people that just don’t realize how it affects others.

Sure everyone has beliefs and stances on the issues. People vote for those who closely align with their own belief systems. I saw a straight person post that there are more important issues. I have also seen there are other issues. I have also heard people say well I support gay people and marriage equality, then vote for a candidate that is against it. Actions speak louder than words.

Candidates like Romney threaten the security of the gay community. Think about the gay families with children and how fearful they were of Romney getting into office. These inequalities cause great harm to the community. As a family one of the most important roles as a parent is to protection but how is that possible if we don’t have all the rights as everyone else. In many states gay people still can get fired for being gay and lose their housing just for being gay. Then you have those who will cause physical harm to someone just for being gay. These are just a few of the many injustices we have to live with on a daily basis. All based on who we love…

So when it comes to voting, it really becomes a matter of security. A matter of life or death in some cases. That is why many have issue with some putting their financial gain over their civil rights. The economy is a key issue for most  but at what cost is it worth if you are taking away rights from a minority?

At what point do you stand up and take responsibility of your surroundings. The reality that when you vote, you are also effecting other people. That is why it is so important to be informed.

Do you want to be someone that builds a person up or someone who tears them down? Sure you might not directly be doing it but by voting for candidates who are anti gay you indirectly are tearing them down. In a world where so many try to tear us down, be courageous and take a stand. That is how real change happens.

Injustice and inequalities should never be tolerated. There comes a point where it is important to stand up for what is right, even if it means rocking the boat. Yes we have to work together but doesn’t mean we can’t be strong and take a stand.

If you know someone who is gay and you know all of this, and you still vote for a candidate who is for taking away our rights… You are saying your issues are more important than my civil rights. Personally that wouldn’t make me feel good about our relationship.

I think that is why when I hear our President so openly show support to the LGBT community, I am overwhelmed with warmth… Here was someone who did the the unthinkable and did what was right, even if that meant not getting elected. He values our role in America. Obama has become our champion, one of our biggest allies.

Hearing his speech tonight I couldn’t help be be inspired. Seeing him face the opposition with such strength, care and compassion really opened my heart and mind to many different things. I hope he realizes the impact he has had on me and so many others in the gay community. During a time where people tell us we are going to hell and God hates us, here is our President lifting us up. I can’t help but feel wonderful.

I struggle with being seen and letting my voice be heard on a daily basis. Being in the presence of such a caring and wonderful leader gives me the opportunity to muster up the courage to venture out into the world and make it a better place. He embodies the true essence of love and service.

and Obama has reminded me that YES I CAN, and so can you!!!