Status Quo

Status quo is a Latin term meaning the current or existing state of affairs. It is a commonly used form of the original Latin “statu quo” – literally “the state in which”. To maintain the status quo is to keep the things the way they presently are.

Tonight one of the shows I watched mentioned the idea of going away from the status quo and it brought up a common theme for me in my life. This idea of fitting in and how it has affected my life, as how I present myself to the world.

One of my favorite shows on television is Project Runway. Each season there are personalities that stand out to me as uniquely eccentric, not just in their design style but how they perceive and carry themselves. They are fierce and fabulous in a quiet manner, well I guess not always. I guess they are usually humble in some sort of fashion. Right away I can tell the ones I personally wouldn’t mesh well with, like the designer who tonight said she liked to make people hate themselves. I was like wow, that is something to be proud of.

So tonight as watched tonight’s premiere episode of the season I immediately found the designers I connected to. The thought I had was I wish I could be more like them, unafraid to be themselves. I know that I am working hard on this but I really appreciated seeing people who were able to live it. Especially those who came from a tough background. Like the designer who struggled with a drug and alcohol addiction. He was fabulous and his design won the challenge! Earlier he unapologetically told the world he carried around a purse.

I love those who don’t conform to these preset gender roles. That is what I love about being gay is the fact that you can have the best of both worlds, well in some ways! 🙂 So I love when others are able to embrace who they are and not the way the world thinks they should be. Another person who stood out to me tonight was the designer who was Native American. I love that she embraces her heritage while putting her own spin on it.

I feel in the gay community, at times, there is this paranoia when it comes to femininity. A constant need to fit in to the heterosexual world, in order to get equality. If we are more like them, then they will accept us and give us what we deserve! If I have to conform to get what I deserve, I don’t want it. I feel like I have lost myself in a sea of status quo.  Finally after so many years I am working on letting myself stand out from the crowd.

Even Project Runway and fashion I believe falls into this idea of status quo. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the show, especially some of the negativity.

It all goes back to this idea of what is beautiful and what is acceptable. Look how many people treat people who are overweight. They cut them down with words of hate and disgust. I saw a picture floating around Facebook of a picture of this woman who had made a dress to look like a tardis from Doctor Who. Obviously this lady was fabulous. I mean she hand painted the inside of her dress to look like the inside of the tardis. Yet all some people saw was that she was fat and the began to mock and degrade her.

In the end these people who work hard trying to drag people down are the one’s missing out on the big picture. It is just sad there are so many people who have been beat down their whole lives and don’t yet know it that is not the truth. They are beautiful and don’t realize it is their environment that is ugly, not themselves. People who hurt other people are just projecting their own hatred for themselves on to the closest people around them.

Personally I have gotten to the point of my life where I was tired of accepting these bad things that others had told me about myself. You live your life in misery enough, and you have no choice but to get out of it. I certainly learned the hard way what i did and didn’t deserve in life. When you can stop caring what other people think about you is when you are really free. Free to live your life the way you want. Be the person you really are.

Beauty isn’t something that is exterior. It is deep inside your heart and soul. How you live your life and how you treat other people.

If you take the extra time you will always find someone against you but if you just turn your cheek you will see the person that is right by your side.

There is never a time when it is too late to be yourself. Discovery can happen at any age. Dreams are not just for children. Losing sight of your dreams makes for a very dreary and miserable place. If you are not happy with who you have become, change it. You have the power and strength to do so. You hold the key to unlocking your own happiness.

The days for tolerating less and hiding in the crowds are over for me. I can be me and know there are people out in this world just like me. Those who will embrace me and lift me up. When I do encounter someone who isn’t like that, I will just keep moving on and not let them burst my bubble.


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