So lately I have felt like hiding more, which is something I have battled with most of my life. One way I hide is by over sleeping. Early on sleeping has been a way to cope with bad feelings and situations. I quickly learned that my pillow and bed can turn into a magic carpet ride. Though lately the places they take me to are not all that welcome.
Lately I have had some sparks of happiness. I have made some progress in therapy. I have even started to eat healthier. So all of this is very new to me, especially recently. I have started to toy around the idea of going back out into the world, as in the workforce.
All of that is very overwhelming. Especially going back into the world where I can get hurt again. I know I have to do it if I ever want to be happy. Living in the shadows is not very rewarding, nor is fulfilling. Constantly living in the shadows makes me feel like a weed. I tired of feeling like a weed.
I must face my fears. Tolerate the feelings that surface from those fears and not let them swallow me whole. Push through them and keep moving forward.