after I posted my blog entry in response to my flashbacks tonight, the thought I had is that I am so ready to move on from all of this.
i am tired. so tired… of feeling crippled, feeling alone and feeling scared…
guess i am a bit overwhelmed… i want to be able to function again. get a job, get back into school, do my drag character Puddin, enjoy life, etc…
but i feel so tied down to the abuse right now…
i know it is related to the PTSD but still. i need to pay bills, buy food, pay rent, etc… PTSD doesn’t pay for all that…
i really wish i was never sexually abused. i am sure all survivors wish that… but hopefully my life would have been a lot easier…
i know that I am trying, even though it is slow going… in the process of getting back into therapy… i just need to hang on… but sometimes it seems like this is going to take forever…
i want to be happy again…
Living a Depressed Life 